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It’s my new cartoon. It’s kind of a 2pac does Smallville, cracking crime James Bond Jr style! Every week he tries to solve the murder of a famous rap star. There’s easily enough dead rappers for 3 or 4 seasons of 36 episodes each, starting with Big L and Scott La Rock.
As we all know, just like US presidents, any oul rapper can get shot but only the good ones die. This will be highlighted by having guest MCs each week from the current crop of living rap artists such as Young Jeezy and Soulja Boy. Each episode will feature a freestyle battle between Pac and the uncovered assailant, and of course the end of each ep will feature socially aware messages like (1) Respect Ho’z (2) Don’t throw gang signs (even if you genuinely believe the wes’ side to be the bes’ side) (3) Purple Drank does not GIVE you the flu (4) Dr Dre cannot prescribe purple drank (5) Don’t sleep with Eazy-E (6) Jerhi curls are highly flammable (7) Yo momma jokes hurt people’s feelings too (8) The truth about Drapetomania (9) Kanye West is Satan (10) Don’t tell gang members you feel sorry for their mother (11) Leave the plastic on your new couch in case your one son who was going to make it to college gets shot and Ice Cube carries him into your living room all bleedy and dead (12) DO tell mom the babysitter’s dead.
I ain’t seven thirty, this could be huge! Maybe I shouldn’t have posted this. Are WordPress gonna get all grabby with Teenage Tupac and be like, “He’s mine! I own him and all his subsidiary rights!”? I wish I read small print. Or maybe its Afeni Shakur I should be worried about. Now I need the World Intellectual Property Organization. Get Geneva on the phone!
